1+1=1 Marriage Math (Week 2)

1. Pastor Perry shared how we all have needs through the acronym VISA (value, important, safe, acceptance). How might you describe to someone else what communicates VISA to you? What are some practical examples of things someone says to you or does for you that speaks to these needs?

2. We discussed 4 obstacles in marriage. The first pair was sin and self. If your willing, share a time it was obvious you sinned in communication to your spouse? How did that create separation and block openness? 

3. When does defensiveness create obstacles in communication?

4. The second pair of obstacles was silence and secrets. Self admit, who in your relationship has a tendency to go silent during communication?

5. What area of your relationship with God would you like to focus on in the near future? How could that directly affect your marriage?

ONENESS CHALLENGE THIS WEEK:
1. Find a place with no distractions and discuss the following questions.
2. What are some recurring obstacles in your relationship?
3. What are some challenges you have already overcome together? Acknowledge and celebrate those wins!
4. Talk about the 4 emotional needs (feeling valued, important, safe, and accepted). Discuss which of the 4 you feel you need most.
5. Which of the 4 battles (feeling worthless, insignificant, alone/abandoned, or rejected) do you struggle with the most? Discuss practical ways your spouse can help you feel more victorious.
6. The 4 obstacles in marriage (sin, self, silence, and secrets) can block 4 important areas your marriage needs: openness, oneness, communication, and intimacy. Which of these do you feel good about in your relationship? Which of these do you feel needs the most improvement?
7. Since marriage is a reflection of your relationship to God, hold hands and pray together, and ask for God’s help in overcoming the specific obstacles that get in the way of your walk with Him.